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She stunningly beautiful. She looked to be in her thirties, and everything about her was big. She looked to be about 6 foot tall. She had beautiful long black hair. Her skin was slightly tan, and her complexion was flawless. Her breasts were big, heavy and round, with nothing but a cage bra around them. Her ass was big and round with faint stretch marks, her thighs very thick and looked strong. Her legs were shapely in the thigh highs, and she wore tall heels. She was wearing a big pink strap-on and had a riding crop tucked into the top of one of the thigh highs. Speaking with a mild German accent she said, "You are to call me goddess." Ava said "Yes". With almost inhuman speed, the goddess pulled the riding crop from her thigh and slapped the tip of one of Ava's nipples. Ava winced and said, "Yes goddess". The goddess smiled and said, "good girl".The goddess turned towards Lila again and said "You and Lila are new here and need to learn respect. The goddess lubed her strapon and. Sex could be just sex. But having a relationship with a man? It had been too difficult to think about at first, but a little bit of weed helped jump that hurdle. Thinking of all the times I had thought about having a girlfriend, what it'd be like and the complete opposite I was making of my reality. I knew I wouldn't have a boyfriend for quite a while if only because I wanted to sleep around quite a lot, being tied down wouldn't help with that. But being able to feel for a man, like I had for women? I started to force myself to go through gay men's dating profiles, with a different twist: I tried to imagine them as actual romantic partners. I tried to view them as serious possibilities, and forced myself to imagine myself doing typical things partners do with them. The sensation of failure was overwhelming as I tried imagining myself with forty-nine year old whose gray hair was quickly going away, and looked like the accountant he was. Before, I had imagined myself as the big spoon..
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